Opps I fucked up again... wait no I didn't it was my sister!

WTF!!! The Spears family is just messed up.... thats all i have to say... no speal...

Tori Amos what are you doing?

As usually i check out comcast home to see whats new in our messed up world when i see Tori Amos stopping in the middle of a song and telling some fans "To get the f**k out, Its a priveledge to sit in front row, now get the f**k out". At first i didn't really care i thougt it was a little funny and i continued my daily news search. Then i actually listen to a song by her and i found out... She sucks more than a super powered vacum. She's labed under rock in iTunes and that just makes Jimi roll in his grave (and Curt because she does a smells like teen spirit cover (what is she trying to prove by that?)). It wasn't a privledge to be in front for those people??? They probiblly wanted to leave any way! She ruined one of the most amazing songs ever, said the f word to fans, got caught on tape, and you just plain suck at singing (thats just my opinion and probiblly most people's opinion).

What went wrong with Rosie?

It seems that evreyone is taking shots at the once funny and cool Nickelodeon entertainer (I'm not gunna pull a Chris Crocker in this post). She started out in weird ass movies that not even Tom Cruise (my hero) would watch. She then started appearing in Nick and it was like when peanut butter meet jelly for the first time (in other words F**KING AWSOME). But then she pulled a Houdini and was gone for a while. I personlly thought she had a heart attack or some bizarre KFC related death. Then all of a sudden shes lebian (not saying thats bad im all for gay rights because i think if you want to get married to someone you love, it doesn't matter what race, sex, religion they are... but that doesn't mean you should try getting married to a cow because apperentlly people frown at that and i don't think tat frown will be turned upsidedown any time soon) on the View and yelling at Donald Trump and is wife... WTF??? And then everyone starts taking some hits like i look at the news and Hulk Hogan is telling her to shut up (it would be cool to see them fight... But Rosie would probiblly sit on him). Seriously what the hell happened??? Is she PMSing or something??? So i wanted to find some answers so i went to Roise.com and looked at her blog... Once again WTF??? Its in the form of poetry??? And its like someone just took something they did like going to the mall, ate up words to describe what they did at the mall and puked it in a post! It was the most Fu*ked up thing i've ever read! And the shop at her website is basiclly tee-shirts and someone wrote "Love" on it with tape. It makes te tee-shirts i make look like L’Ami Louis (a very very very fancy restaurant in France). So Rosie if this post ever gets around to you, i challenege you to make a post (that doesn't make me run to the bathroom and throw up a little) about who you feel about your self and if you want to change anything (and don't say my beard because that doesn't count). Thats my bit on this and hope you have a merry Christmas.

Not really a post just a note

Hey you! Yes you... wait not you the guy over there... No no the one that isn't ugly... Anyway if you have a problem that you wish to be solved on my blog then send it to pinkflamingoparty88@yahoo.com (pinkflamingoparty.com is me and my friends' site we sell shirts its pretty cool we havn't finished the whole site but check it out) and i'll get back to you as soon as posi... actually when ever i get around to it. Merry Christmas!

So you want to get your shopping done the last few days of christmas without getting trampled

Well good luck cause your gunna need it hahahaha (or should i say ho ho ho). Just kidding! Now that i got that out of the way heres some tips on how to avoid getting a gucci to the face and a fat guy that took the day off of work (like he was doing anything anyway) falling on you. The first step is taking the day off or even 2 in case you do get trampled then you won't want to go into to work the next day with Nike across your cheek, once you have accomplished that you are not even close to being ready. Planning wise the first step is making sure you are farmiliar with your mall before you acctually shop so you know where the stuff on your list is. The next step is getting 3 or 4 friends to help you fend off the crazies (They will be your Ving Rhames when you're fighting the zombies except hopefully without a shotgun) or to act as extra arms. Then after that is the waking up early part which for me personally is the hardest part, but for some it's easy a recomended time would be 2 or 3am (i know it sounds crazy but it will work (oh and you should get to sleep at 4 the preivious day or you will die of fatigue like your gnome warrior in world of warcraft when he tries to swim from one continent to the other)). Now after this you'll probiblly want an energy drink (which is awsome) or coffee (which is evil) to give you a buzz to prevent you from passing out at the wheel which in most cases is bad. Next is your outfit, make sure you have tight clothes (not skin suit tight but you get the idea) because if you wear baggy clothes and someone next to you trips they will grab your parachute pants and never let go which will bring you down and probibly end up in trampling. Next is a pair of boots with good traction because the floors will be wet and the ground will be icy so no converse no matter how cool they are (also boots will be good for trampling (just kidding (not really))). Also i recomend gloves (but they aren't required) especially if you do your shopping the last 2 days before Christmas (which i don't recomend) because by this time it will bring out the biters in people (which i don't recomend doing because mall jail is more hummliating than real jail). Now get in the car and get your ass to the mall because at 4 and 5 is when the normal people start showing up and if don't get in line you might as well go home unless your list was a open box of pantyhose with only 2 left in it and one is ripped, and a Snowman that dances and sings, but they put the wrong voice box in so instead of "Jingle Bells" you hear a dog barking and saying "feed me", which i highly doubt is your list. Now that you are waiting make sure you are warm because that store is not gunna open any early if anything it would open later causing more frostbite for you (which sucks ass). So if you are wearing your boots and the store doors open... RUN TO YOUR FIRST ITEM ON YOUR LIST!!! but no pushing cause then you're gunna get pushed back and it will turn into a battle royal faster than it usually does (also i don't condone violence just trampling). Also screw carts even though they have wheels they slow your turning down and will make it harder to fit in aisles so carry your stuff (bring a bag if it's small stuff, but make sure it is see through or it will be thought of as stealing). Hopefully you aren't lolly gagging so you should still have open cash registers. Pick the one that is closest to the door even if there is an open one because by the time that lady rings up your first item it will be total mayhem and you won't be able to tell who's hand is who's, so you want to be close to the doors for a quick get away. Well i hope this helped and if all else fails use amazon like the smart people... Oh and Merry Christmas!!!!! P.S. If you trample someone by "accident" keep walking i know it sounds cruel, but 90% of the time when you help them up they are gunna hit you in the face so hard you'll wish you had Nike across your face.

Women (and why they are hard to understand)

From the title you are probably expecting that i'm going to go off in a rant about why women don't like me and eventually end up talking about WoW (world of warcraft). If so you are wrong because i am not a nerd, but i will talk about women not liking most guys in general. So prepare yourself for one of the most brilliant reasons why women don't like some guys *Drum roll!*.... Most guys can't get a girlfriend because... They don't have a girlfriend!!!!! I know what your thinking "This guy is the most retard (A person considered to be foolish or socially inept, not actually mentally challenged) person i've read about". Well hold your flipping horses i haven't elaborated yet (yes i used elaborated instead of explained to make myself less retarded because of my outrageous claim (yes i said claim))!!! The reason i say this is because as far as single guys go we tend to be lazy, slobby, and downright baffled when we talk to women, i mean we say random crap that doesn't even remotely relate to the conversation (Girl: Hey want to see a movie sometime? Guy: There are a shit load of cows in Nebraska (which apparently there are)). The only way to get us out of the grind of not shaving/ teeth brushing/ daily bathing (basically all hygiene and grooming) is if we had a girl friend that we would subconsciously try to impress everyday, BUT (hahaha i said but in capitals (but= except; other than: used with an infinitive as the object. And the other is butt= which is more commonly know as ass but apparently butt has a lot of different meanings)) no girl will go out with a guy that is... BUTT ugly and stinky. So now your probably asking (you might not be asking but ill tell you anyway) "Hey Cory, i fit this description how do i get a girlfriend when i'm a ragamuffin (A shabbily clothed, dirty child.) and i'm slowly becoming 100% fat and no bone. Well my answer is just ask a girl who likes you for who you are more than what you look like (and she is still good looking for your standards (which are most likely pretty shallow since the closest you've been to a girl recently is probably on your computer (yes that was a porn joke)) then you can get cleaned up and have a relationship and then you'll be in the clean grind again, and if you brake up don't be too discouraged because you'll be better looking and you'll have a lot more fish in your sea. Thats my 2 cents (pennies are useless seriously every thing should at least be 25 cents (or in my mind free cause then people wouldn't get sued for limewire)) on women hope it helped you WoWers.... Damn i mentioned WoW again! Any ways Merry Christmas and hope you get that special someone. Oh and P.S. You should probibly ask soon so you can think of a holiday gift for her.

The Wii and why it is for people who are challenged at life

The Wii is not only conformist and always white (i don't mean that in a raciest way i mean its annoying that you can't add some personality to it unless you put a hello kitty sticker on the side) it has graphics that look like someone made it in paint (the application on most peoples computers, but not macs (cause they are evil)). And then theres the annoying strap that tries to keep from going out and having a real life and you will make endless mii's that look vaguely like tom cruise. Now i have nothing against the miis except you can only make them look like people or weird messed up people that look like aliens. One annoying thing about Nintendictators... I mean Nintendo is that it only comes up with new games every blue moon (the second of two full moons happening in one month). I mean if i had a brick for every mario or zelda variation i could make the great wall of china expand to wrap around the world. The least they can do is make it so mario can pick up guns or make it so link can control different animals like squirrels or wolves (they're awesome ideas so remember you herd it from me first if you get "mario all out war" for your kid which i don't recommend if your kid is weak minded or else you'll have a crazy 8 yr old running around yell "DEATH TO BOWSER" for four weeks.) One of the good parts about the wii is that you have to get up and move around and it keeps kids from getting fat. My theory is that the movements you make to control your character (which are ridiculous cause you spend 10 mins trying to make your guy jump right or you fall of the cliff again.) are similar to secret Japanese intelligence (that is soon to be America along with the rest of the world's downfall) so that they can brain wash the children of the gaming world to fight under the soon to be rising again rising sun. That about sums it up besides the annoying remote through tv problem. So when your out Christmas shopping and the crazy lady on 12 cups of star bucks (which is also evil) is saying "Wii" over and over again and to top it off she's going threw her midlife crisis and a divorce (which is probability why shes going through her midlife crisis) you ether wanna quickly watch 5min Biceps before the store opens or get your kid something that won't turn him into the next generation of kamikazes. P.S. Merry Christmas