The Wii and why it is for people who are challenged at life

The Wii is not only conformist and always white (i don't mean that in a raciest way i mean its annoying that you can't add some personality to it unless you put a hello kitty sticker on the side) it has graphics that look like someone made it in paint (the application on most peoples computers, but not macs (cause they are evil)). And then theres the annoying strap that tries to keep from going out and having a real life and you will make endless mii's that look vaguely like tom cruise. Now i have nothing against the miis except you can only make them look like people or weird messed up people that look like aliens. One annoying thing about Nintendictators... I mean Nintendo is that it only comes up with new games every blue moon (the second of two full moons happening in one month). I mean if i had a brick for every mario or zelda variation i could make the great wall of china expand to wrap around the world. The least they can do is make it so mario can pick up guns or make it so link can control different animals like squirrels or wolves (they're awesome ideas so remember you herd it from me first if you get "mario all out war" for your kid which i don't recommend if your kid is weak minded or else you'll have a crazy 8 yr old running around yell "DEATH TO BOWSER" for four weeks.) One of the good parts about the wii is that you have to get up and move around and it keeps kids from getting fat. My theory is that the movements you make to control your character (which are ridiculous cause you spend 10 mins trying to make your guy jump right or you fall of the cliff again.) are similar to secret Japanese intelligence (that is soon to be America along with the rest of the world's downfall) so that they can brain wash the children of the gaming world to fight under the soon to be rising again rising sun. That about sums it up besides the annoying remote through tv problem. So when your out Christmas shopping and the crazy lady on 12 cups of star bucks (which is also evil) is saying "Wii" over and over again and to top it off she's going threw her midlife crisis and a divorce (which is probability why shes going through her midlife crisis) you ether wanna quickly watch 5min Biceps before the store opens or get your kid something that won't turn him into the next generation of kamikazes. P.S. Merry Christmas