Women (and why they are hard to understand)

From the title you are probably expecting that i'm going to go off in a rant about why women don't like me and eventually end up talking about WoW (world of warcraft). If so you are wrong because i am not a nerd, but i will talk about women not liking most guys in general. So prepare yourself for one of the most brilliant reasons why women don't like some guys *Drum roll!*.... Most guys can't get a girlfriend because... They don't have a girlfriend!!!!! I know what your thinking "This guy is the most retard (A person considered to be foolish or socially inept, not actually mentally challenged) person i've read about". Well hold your flipping horses i haven't elaborated yet (yes i used elaborated instead of explained to make myself less retarded because of my outrageous claim (yes i said claim))!!! The reason i say this is because as far as single guys go we tend to be lazy, slobby, and downright baffled when we talk to women, i mean we say random crap that doesn't even remotely relate to the conversation (Girl: Hey want to see a movie sometime? Guy: There are a shit load of cows in Nebraska (which apparently there are)). The only way to get us out of the grind of not shaving/ teeth brushing/ daily bathing (basically all hygiene and grooming) is if we had a girl friend that we would subconsciously try to impress everyday, BUT (hahaha i said but in capitals (but= except; other than: used with an infinitive as the object. And the other is butt= which is more commonly know as ass but apparently butt has a lot of different meanings)) no girl will go out with a guy that is... BUTT ugly and stinky. So now your probably asking (you might not be asking but ill tell you anyway) "Hey Cory, i fit this description how do i get a girlfriend when i'm a ragamuffin (A shabbily clothed, dirty child.) and i'm slowly becoming 100% fat and no bone. Well my answer is just ask a girl who likes you for who you are more than what you look like (and she is still good looking for your standards (which are most likely pretty shallow since the closest you've been to a girl recently is probably on your computer (yes that was a porn joke)) then you can get cleaned up and have a relationship and then you'll be in the clean grind again, and if you brake up don't be too discouraged because you'll be better looking and you'll have a lot more fish in your sea. Thats my 2 cents (pennies are useless seriously every thing should at least be 25 cents (or in my mind free cause then people wouldn't get sued for limewire)) on women hope it helped you WoWers.... Damn i mentioned WoW again! Any ways Merry Christmas and hope you get that special someone. Oh and P.S. You should probibly ask soon so you can think of a holiday gift for her.